Karisa Rivera

When I was about 12 or 13, I read an excellent article in a Christian magazine about waiting for Prince Charming. At the end of the article, the author pointed out that it is never too early to start praying for your future husband.

The article included a sample checklist of prayer requests. I don’t exactly recall all items included on the checklist, but my prayer requests were something like this:

• That God would keep him safe, away from harm or a terrible accident.
• That if he wasn’t saved yet, that he would come to Christ soon! And if that he was saved, that he would keep growing in the knowledge and wisdom of God.
• That, if at all possible, he would keep himself sexually pure (I knew this was a long shot).
• Finally, I prayed for his family. That God could work through any challenges that they could be facing (of any sort), and that one day, they would accept me and love me as much as their son.

Well, I cannot fully explain the gratitude for all answered prayers. Yes, God answered each and every single request.

I met Abe when we were 16. He was not saved. I shared the Gospel with him and invited him to youth group and church. He hasn’t stopped growing as a disciple of Christ since. He grew up in a family that did not carry Biblical values, yet Abe had never had a girlfriend or even kissed any girl before! Do you see God at work here, answering my prayers!? His family has gone through struggles, but his parents are still together, the whole family knows Christ now, and they immediately accepted me into their family (and they ADORE our kids, of course).

As time goes by, I am still in awe of how God was so faithful in answering a plain girl’s simple and innocent prayers.

ARE you specifically praying for your future husband?

A few months ago, I read Debi Pearl’s Preparing to be His Help Meet. As expected, it is an excellent book. And talking about praying for your future husband, Debi addresses this issue on the very first chapter. My prayer life has forever been changed, once more!

Debi tells the story of how she met Michael, her husband. She was just a young teenager and he was a young preacher. She knew in her heart she would one day marry him. He did not have a clue she was the one God had for him until a week before they got married (a lovely story you have to read). She says,

“Michael was God’s man, a preacher that needed a faithful prayer warrior. He was in the thick of winning thousands of soldiers to the Lord…Hot females chasing after him would be a constant threat to his ministry… This could have been an extreme temptation to his flesh… God was looking for a help meet that would pray, not for herself to have a wonderful prince, but for a help meet to start HELPING this warrior of God to do the job God had for him to do [through her prayers].”

She says that she prayed and prayed and prayed for this man of God. And God answered.

“Do you sit waiting for God to give, yet never ask for the laborer’s strength, honor and boldness? What young warrior NEEDS your faithful prayers?”

“We can and do make a difference in eternity when we pray. If that were not true then it would be pointless to pray.”

“Does your future beloved languish because you do not pray for him and those over him?”

Back to Debi’s story, this is what she now thinks about all the other girls that through the years chased after Michael as a fine prospect,

“Maybe the other girls prayed amiss, not for the warrior, but for themselves to get a wonderful husband.”

HOW are you praying for your future husband?

Like I said, after reading this chapter, my prayer life has changed. I have been challenged to a new level! Thinking back, I could have definitely prayed selflessly for God’s worrier, instead of praying for my prince charming.

God will raise up thousands of bold, talented and faithful warriors if each one has someone who will faithfully pray for him.

Almost every woman dreams of her wedding day and longs for the day she meets her Prince Charming. She keeps alive her dream of becoming a bride – a wife and mother, one day. Her parents hope amd pray she will marry a good man. And while these wishes and intentions are very good, few women are intentionally preparing hard for marriage.

To the contrary, many, unknowingly are following a feminist pattern: challenging God’s principles and going after what the world offers, such as careers, school titles, professions and positions that take a woman away  from where God called her to be, at home.

It takes considerable sacrifice to achieve dreams and goals. Is being a wife and mother one of your dreams and goals? What do you think God was to say about this? Think about it.

There are certain elements that enrich the process of preparing a woman for marriage.

Here is an inventory you can use as a checklist if you are single, waiting for your Prince Charming. Go ahead and do a self-assessment to see where you need improvement. (They are not in any particular order)

Dedication. The woman who wants to be a loving, helpful and fun wife, should already be aiming at it.  Each day, make all effort to be loving, helpful and fun with those around you. Practice makes perfect

Learn from the pros. There is no doubt that the best way to learn is at the feet of the masters. In this case, it is crucial to spend time with God-fearing wives that love their husbands are instructing their children in the ways of the Lord. This is not only a good opportunity to learn from them, but to serve them as well.

Sacrifice. The higher the price, the most value it has. If you want to be a treasure for your husband, you better be worth it. This requires great sacrifice during the years of bachelorhood. When the temptation to lower our standards and go along with the crowd, pause and consider whether this will help you be a better wife someday soon. There will be many times where the right thing will be the most hardest and difficult. Someday, your husband will thank you for it!

Responsibility. Women must learn to be responsible not only with their time and money, but in many other areas of life that can build or destroy a marriage. During your singlehood years, look to grow in responsibility with your words, promises, commitments, friendships, etc.

Investigate. How many women enter into marriage to only find the surprise of their lifetimes as they discover what marriage is really all about? The woman who wants to be the queen of her home, has to do some homework first. You can do interviews, take notes, read books, observe, question, and create your own treasure chest (before your wedding day!).

The Plan. In Genesis, God outlines the plan for women: to be the one that helps her husband succeed in life and together  have children and raise them in the fear of God. This doesn’t start the day you say “Yes, I do.” This starts with a plan that will guide you towards that special day. Since each story is different, each woman’s plan will vary one from the other. Some elements to keep in mind: honor your parents, cheerfully submit to your authorities, know how to cook, know the basics of menu planning, have the habit of saving money, know how to manage finances, know the basics of managing a household, know how to clean your kitchen, bathroom, floor, furniture, babysit often, teach children, know how to do laundry and ironing, making good use of your time, to name a few.

Discipline. Similar to sacrifice, a disciplined life is not highly celebrated in this culture. It is coveted, yes, but not required enough. It helps to have friends with similar beliefs to yours. In my case, this helped me very much to stay away from unnecessary temptations in life.

It is serious. Marriage is not a fantasy or a game. It is very sacred in the eyes of God. Society, for the most part, makes a mockery out of marriage, belittles it, and invites women to ‘be ready in case things go wrong’. This is not from God. But he does have the power to overcome all these wrong and negative ideas and realities. So the woman who wants to succeed in marriage must seek to give the seriousness and holiness that God gives it.

Be strong and be ready. God knows the day and time when your Prince Charming will arrive. But if there is something you can do today, is get ready. The Enemy of the family is fiercely looking to distract any woman who will look to God as a wife and mother. Be strong and stand firm, fight the battle! After you have won, God will reward you with a strong marriage.

Time to train and improve your skills. Attempts to be discipled by a wife and mother; faithfully serve at church; acknowledge and use your spiritual gifts and talents; have a fruitful, solid relationship with a girlfriend; and grows in areas of weakness in your life.

I only ask you to answer this with a genuine heart: “Am I giving more importance and priority to my preparation for marriage than to school or work?” Remember, where your treasure (resources) is, there your heart will be also.

In 2004, I was the happiest woman on earth because I was a newlywed bride. Finally! My high school sweetheart was finally my man! We enjoyed a beautiful wedding and our honeymoon was splendid. But then … life began.

I wanted to share many of the things I wish I had done better or differently before I got married. And though, I cannot go back on time, I wanted to share these lessons with other women who will walk down wearing a beautiful wedding dress… and someday, not too far away, share all this with my daughter♥

Photo by PieterMusterd.

For many years I witnessed <and still do> the wonderful marriage of my parents. Although they are not perfect, they did make specific choices when they exchanged vows at the altar. Their choices included making God the center of their relationship and letting God guide their family. That is why I now stand and consider myself blessed for having such parents.

Today, although a few months short of my fifth anniversary, I am very happy and grateful for the marriage God has given me. With my husband, we have learned and grown in ways we could not even imagine. I am very blessed.

Here is a continuation of the letter a wise man wrote to his two sons regarding women (a future wife):

First, know that the woman you marry will be the lifelong mother of your children. All that she is in the accumulation of her past experiences will be present as the mother of your children. There is not a more major decision affecting the future of your children than the choice of your life’s partner… Treat your wife as a delicate flower, and she will “bloom” with energy to be a more giving mother.
Be sure to cultivate your relationship with your wife. Meet her needs. Make her happy. Enjoy her thoroughly … If you love and cherish your wife, the children will love and cherish her also.

Here are basic qualities you need to look for when choosing your wife:
That she loves the Lord and is his true disciple
Cheerfulness
Thankfulness
That she is a creative and hard worker
Love for children

Never marry a girl who feels she is not getting the best man in the world when she gets you. A girl who enters marriage thinking she could have done better will never be satisfied for wondering what it might have been like if…

Avoid like a plague the girl who will pursue her own career outside the home. A wife must be your “help-meet.”